Don't you wish kids came with an instruction booklet? There's nothing more difficult then trying to decide the best path to take when it comes to your kids. There are just too many scenarios to mention!
My parents stunk (stink) at being parents. They had so much animosity between them that everything had to be a battle and blame-fest. You can imagine... Good things were taken credit for by both, not-so-good things blamed on the other. As an adult, I realized that my parents expected me to handle situations like an adult when I was still a kid. This has been one of the biggest influences for me with my kids. When we have a difficult situation, whether it is something they are going through personally or something we are dealing with as a divorced-parents family, I have weighed carefully their age and maturity in any decision-making. I would not expect them, even as teenagers, to make an adult decision by themselves.
Your kids need you at every age (even as adults!) When they are small, they need us to set their boundaries. When they are teenagers, they need us to set their boundaries. I think the hardest part about when they are older is that you can't just reach over and pick them up and out of the mud puddle -- You have to let them wade over to you first...otherwise you end up in the puddle too =)
If only we had an instruction booklet..but where's the fun in that?
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