Didn't mean it that way...

Thick-skinned. I try to be most of the time but I admit that I have had moments of weakness lately - been more sensitive. Have you ever said something and at the moment you said it you realized that it just came out all wrong? We all have right? I am guilty, guilty, guilty.

BUT! I have been trying harder to catch myself lately because of things that have been said to me from co-workers, friends, family...things that aren't really meant to hurt my feelings. Phrases that aren't meant to be insulting and may be said out of concern, but have a different affect than intended. For example:

"You look tired" - Usually said out of concern but let's face it, being told you look tired is not flattering, especially when you are tired!!

"You're so skinny" - Skinny is not a compliment!! I was very thin as a young adult and I hated being told that. Lately I have lost a few pounds and feel much more comfortable and healthier but if I hear one more person at work tell me that I am so "skinny," I think I will cry. On the positive side, one person told me they were concerned because they noticed that I had become "more slender" and wanted to make sure I wasn't under too much stress while at work. And another told me that they had noticed that I was taking great care of myself lately and commended me. Well done! Those two got a big smile and a thank you.

It's not that anyone really meant to say something hurtful, but when you are tired, just a friendly smile and greeting and sometimes a hug would do. And for me, losing weight wasn't something I tried to do and was actually a serious health concern - so someone saying "you're so skinny" just made me feel worse. Let me tell you, the "slender" comment really worked to boost my spirits. Mostly because it was said to me out of concern and was not said in a demeaning way.

So, I am guarding my words more carefully - intentionally. Being more grateful, more complimentary and more compassionate. I may not know what struggles someone is going through and I certainly don't want to add to it.

On a side note, three people in our family's small world of acquaintances have committed suicide within the past two months. We don't know what caused them to feel so desparate but maybe a kind word could have made a difference.